עמוד:50

Sharon , United States : Hi , my name is Sharon Steinberg . I live in Newton , Massachusetts . I’ve been following this forum for a while , but I wasn’t sure about joining because I’ve never participated in anything like this before . After reading about Sasha’s dilemma , I decided to write to you because I also have a dilemma I’d really like to share with you . Is it okay to tell you about my problem even though I just joined ? Jonathan , United States : Hey Sharon , sure ! Glad that another American has joined the forum ! Sharon’s Dilemma Thanks ! Let me first come clean – the dilemma I want to share with you is not actually mine , but my sister Emma’s . I hope that’s okay ! Emma is three and a half years older than me and we’re very close . She’s facing a really hard decision right now , so I thought maybe I could get advice from you and pass it on to her . Emma went to a Jewish school until this year , but she’s just started ninth grade in a public high school . So far things have been going very well , but just a few days ago she came home so upset . It turns out that the big homecoming dance that she’s been really looking forward to falls exactly on Yom Kippur . Miep , Holland : Hi Sharon ! Welcome to our forum ! What’s a homecoming dance ? We don’t have them in Holland . Oh , sorry ! It’s a really huge thing around here . It’s a kind of sports day with lots of basketball and football games and then there’s a big party at night that EVERYONE goes to . Emma came into my room last night in tears . Most of her new friends aren’t Jewish and if she doesn’t go , she’ll be the only one to miss out . As a family we don’t go to synagogue very often , but Yom Kippur is a must . We go every year with our grandparents . My parents were very upset that the school scheduled the dance on Yom Kippur and went to speak to the principal . The principal explained that she hadn’t realized there was a conflict and apologized . She said she would make sure it didn’t happen again , but she didn’t change the date ! She claimed it was too late to find another date . My parents have decided to let Emma decide for herself what to do and Emma feels really conflicted . On the one hand , she’s just started this new school and doesn’t want to miss out – it’s not only the night of the dance , it’s the whole build up to it – special events the whole week leading up to the games , the dance itself and then all the conversations about it afterwards ... like who wore what , who danced with who , etc . But on the other hand , going to synagogue is also important to her . There’s something about Yom Kippur which is really unique – the synagogue is completely filled and there’s an atmosphere which is hard to describe ... but it’s very special and she would feel really badly giving that up for a dance ... even homecoming ! She also knows that even though my parents have left the decision in her hands , they are hoping – and sort of expecting – that she’ll ’choose’ Yom Kippur . She doesn’t want to disappoint our parents or grandparents . I don’t know how to advise her – what do you think ?

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